Before I go forwards, I want to go a little backwards first.  A lot has happened to me since I wrote my last blog post, too much to try to put into words not least because there are no words to adequately describe my (ongoing) heartache at losing my beloved Waffle.  The decision I made around the time of my last post to follow my heart was the right one, even though there were those who thought I was a little mad giving up on the potential of securing a PhD post. I’d decided I would prefer to spend time with my dog enjoying life and giving her as many happy experiences as I could.  I’m glad I did and still mourn that I couldn’t have given her more.

I was matched with my new guide dog Sadie in September last year and we sailed through training together.  But shortly thereafter things turned a little troublesome. I got great advice and ideas from Guide Dog staff but ultimately it didn’t resolve issues and we jointly decided to give Sadie a period of time to settle in keeping things as straight forward and as achievable for her as possible…which also took some pressure of me.  The plan was to very gradually introduce Sadie to the environments and tasks she would help me with over time, but every time we tried to do this, some problems behaviours re-emerged.

I’m not going to dissect these behaviours or the potential (multitude) of reasons for them but they currently centre around variation in guiding speed (a big variation!!), bounding/bolting around while in harness and some lack of confidence in guiding past other dogs.  It wouldn’t be wise for me to mention in any depth how I feel about the owner of the dog who attacked Sadie but will try and awareness raise about the potential harms of not keeping dogs under control via another platform.

I’m now about to commence refresher training today with Sadie.  I’m not entirely sure what that will consist of but the preparation for it has been very like that after you are matched with your guide dog and count the days and hours until you start training together.  Yesterday was pretty much filled with fixing Sadie’s beds back up with her fresh bedding, repairing a few toys (not sure my boss would think much of my surgical stitching skills, ha ha!), putting poo bags back in the pockets of my jackets and bags, completing the last of my tasks designed to keep me from worrying about Sadie while she was with Guide Dogs for assessment/training and routine housework.  This morning has been spent clock watching….no surprise there to my friends.

I’m going into refresher training with an open and optimistic mind but I am ware that as no definite reasons were found during assessment to account for Sadie’s behaviours, she’ll be returning home to me more than likely doing exactly what she did when I asked Guide Dogs for help.  But this time around, my trainer will be aiming to teach me techniques to manage these behaviours in a more proactive way. Ultimately though these may not resolve her behaviours and I may once again find these too difficult for me to manage on a daily basis and not feel safe being guided by Sadie.

In the meantime, as a friend wrote as the tag line to their initial journey into guide dog ownership, forwards, always forwards.